Here I Am, Day 4 — Forgiveness: Hands Off (Joseph, and David and Saul)

Here I Am · Study 4 of 5 · Forgiveness

In the last study Isaiah said “woe is me” and we learned to turn. Now comes the answer. A coal from the altar touches the exact place Isaiah confessed, and he hears the words every one of us needs: your sin is atoned for. This study has two halves. First, forgiving the people who hurt you: a dad or mom, a leader, a brother or sister, even yourself. We follow Joseph. Second, forgiveness and wisdom: how to forgive someone and still be careful. We follow David and Saul. Like every study in this series, it has three sections:

• 📖 Study: walk through the passages phrase by phrase: what the words mean, the world behind them, and the truth underneath.
• ✍️ Journal: a quiet heart check, with room to write.
• 🛠️ Practice: how to forgive, how to decide your next wise step, and small steps for the week.

Have a Bible, a pen and something to write in. It helps to read Genesis 37, 45 and 50 and 1 Samuel 24 and 26 beforehand, but you don’t have to. This one is heavier than the others. Go slowly, and be gentle with yourself.

🗺️ Where this study fits

Isaiah 6 is one encounter with God that changes a man in five moves. Each study takes one of them.

See God. See yourself. Confess. Be cleansed. Say yes. This study is about the cleansing, and what it does in us toward other people.

📱 The picture: hands off

All through this series, your phone is a picture of your heart: the control center where your choices get made (Proverbs 4:23). Today the picture is about your grip.

When someone hurts you, your hand closes around it. You hold the hurt, replay it, keep score. A closed hand cannot receive anything, and it cannot let anything go. Hands off means you open your hand and give the debt to God.

🔥 Grace comes first

⁶ Then one of the seraphim flew to me, and in his hand was a glowing coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. ⁷ And with it he touched my mouth and said: “Now that this has touched your lips, your iniquity is removed and your sin is atoned for.”

Isaiah 6:6–7 (Berean Standard Bible)

🕊️ Step 1 · Who moves first

Watch the verbs. The seraph flew, took, touched and said. Isaiah did nothing. He stood there, undone, and the cleansing came to him. He did not climb to the altar or earn the coal. That is why the whole study begins here: forgiveness is received before it is ever given. “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

🔥 Step 2 · Fire from the altar

The coal was so hot the seraph used tongs. Forgiveness is not soft; it is fire. And it came from the altar, the place of sacrifice. Isaiah’s cleansing did not come from nowhere. For Christians this points to the cross: “He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities” (Isaiah 53:5). The coal came from an altar. Our forgiveness comes from Jesus.

🗑️ Step 3 · “Removed” and “atoned for”

Two words. Removed translates the Hebrew sur, to turn aside, to take away. Not hidden, not managed. Gone. Atoned for is kaphar, the Old Testament’s main word for atonement, the root of Yom Kippur. It means your sin has been fully covered and paid. And notice: the seraph speaks. Isaiah does not have to guess whether it worked. He hears it.

🧥 Joseph: forgiving the people who hurt you

Picture the camp. Jacob has twelve sons, and he loves one of them more than the rest. Joseph is about seventeen, happy in a robe his father made just for him. Around him stand his ten older brothers, arms crossed. They are not happy. Almost everyone on your list, a parent, a brother or sister, a leader, a friend, shows up somewhere in Joseph’s story. That is why we follow him first.

🧥 Step 4 · Hurt people hurt people

³ Now Israel loved Joseph more than his other sons… so he made him a robe of many colors. ⁴ When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him.

Genesis 37:3–4 (Berean Standard Bible)

The brothers’ hate did not come from nowhere. It grew out of a father’s favoritism. That does not excuse what they did, but it explains it. Most of the people who hurt you were hurt first. Seeing that is not the same as saying it was okay. It is the beginning of seeing them the way God does.

🕳️ Step 5 · His brothers sold him as a slave

²³ …they stripped him of his robe… ²⁴ and they took him and threw him into the pit… ²⁸ …his brothers pulled Joseph out of the pit and sold him for twenty shekels of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt.

Genesis 37:23–24, 28 (Berean Standard Bible)

Twenty shekels of silver was the price of a slave. His own brothers set it. Joseph lost his robe, his home, his father and his freedom in one afternoon. If you think your hurt is too big to forgive, start here: Joseph’s was this big.

🌱 Step 6 · Beauty from ashes

⁵¹ Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh, saying, “God has made me forget all my hardship and all my father’s household.” ⁵² And the second son he named Ephraim, saying, “God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction.”

Genesis 41:51–52 (Berean Standard Bible)

Thirteen years later Joseph is second in command of Egypt, with a family of his own. He names his sons after what God did. “Forget” here does not mean the memory was erased; when his brothers show up in the next chapter, “Joseph remembered his dreams” (Genesis 42:9). It means the hardship no longer ruled him. And notice where God made him fruitful: “in the land of my affliction.” Not after he escaped it. In it. That is what Isaiah calls “a crown of beauty for ashes” (Isaiah 61:3).

😭 Step 7 · Joseph forgave his brothers

⁴ Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come near me.” And they did so. “I am Joseph, your brother,” he said, “the one you sold into Egypt! ⁵ And now, do not be distressed or angry with yourselves that you sold me into this place, because it was to save lives that God sent me before you.” … ¹⁵ Joseph kissed each of his brothers as he wept over them.

Genesis 45:4–5, 15 (Berean Standard Bible)

“Please come near me.” The man they threw in a pit invites them close. He names what they did, “the one you sold into Egypt,” and then he does the thing only a forgiven heart can do: he tells them not to be angry with themselves. He weeps, and he kisses every one of them. Forgiveness is not pretending. Joseph said the words out loud. And it is not cold. He cried.

⚖️ Step 8 · Let God be the judge

¹⁵ When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph bears a grudge?…” ¹⁹ But Joseph replied, “Do not be afraid. Am I in the place of God? ²⁰ As for you, what you intended against me for evil, God intended for good… ²¹ Therefore do not be afraid. I will provide for you and your little ones.” So Joseph reassured his brothers and spoke kindly to them.

Genesis 50:15, 19–21 (Berean Standard Bible)

Seventeen years after the reunion, their father dies and the brothers panic. They think the forgiveness was only for Jacob’s sake. Joseph’s answer is the key to the whole study: “Am I in the place of God?” Holding a grudge is trying to sit in God’s seat and make sure justice happens. Joseph steps out of the seat. He does not say what they did was good; he says “you intended against me for evil.” He says God used it for good. And then he provides for them. Paul says the same thing: “Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: ‘Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord’” (Romans 12:19).

📝 Step 9 · Who hurt Joseph?

Joseph’s list was long. His brothers hated him and sold him (Genesis 37:4, 28). Potiphar’s wife lied about him (Genesis 39:14–18). Potiphar threw him in prison (Genesis 39:20). The cupbearer forgot him for two full years (Genesis 40:23; 41:1).

The Bible only shows Joseph forgiving his brothers out loud. But once he had all the power in Egypt, he never paid anyone back. He forgave and blessed the ones who hurt him most: “I will provide for you and your little ones” (Genesis 50:21).

💰 Forgiven people forgive

¹³ Bear with one another and forgive any complaint you may have against someone else. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Colossians 3:13 (Berean Standard Bible)

The order never changes. God forgave all your debt. So you can forgive others. Jesus told a story about a servant whose master “had compassion on him, forgave his debt, and released him” (Matthew 18:27), and who then refused to forgive a tiny debt owed to him. The master’s question is the one to sit with: “Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had on you?” (Matthew 18:33).

🚫 What forgiveness is not

• It is not saying it was okay. Joseph said “you intended against me for evil.”
• It is not forgetting. Joseph remembered his dreams. The hurt just stopped ruling him.
• It is not the same as trusting again. That is the second half of this study.
• It is not a feeling. It is a decision you make, and then make again when the memory comes back.

🗡️ David: forgive, but be wise

Everyone knows this moment. A shepherd boy with a sling walks into the Valley of Elah and faces a giant. What happens next is less famous, and it is the part we need. The man David served, King Saul, turned on him. For years Saul hunted him. Joseph’s brothers hurt him once and then came back changed. Saul hurt David again and again and never really changed. So David’s story answers a harder question: how do you forgive someone who might hurt you again?

😠 Step 10 · Saul became jealous of David

⁸ And Saul was furious and resented this song. “They have ascribed tens of thousands to David,” he said, “but only thousands to me. What more can he have but the kingdom?” ⁹ And from that day forward Saul kept a jealous eye on David. … ¹¹ …he hurled it, thinking, ‘I will pin David to the wall.’ But David eluded him twice. … [19:10] And David fled and escaped that night.

1 Samuel 18:8–9, 11; 19:10 (Berean Standard Bible)

It started with a song. The women sang that David had done more than the king, and jealousy took root in Saul. Jealousy is a slow poison; from one song it grew to a thrown spear. The Bible calls this “a root of bitterness” that “springs up to cause trouble” (Hebrews 12:15). David did nothing wrong. He played the harp for the man who was trying to kill him, and then he ran.

✂️ Step 11 · David spared Saul’s life

⁴ …Then David crept up and stealthily cut off a corner of Saul’s robe. … ⁶ So he said to his men, “The LORD forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the LORD’s anointed…”

1 Samuel 24:4, 6 (Berean Standard Bible)

In a cave near En Gedi, Saul walks in alone, and David’s men whisper that God has handed him over. David could end it with one stroke. Instead he cuts a corner off Saul’s robe, and even that bothers his conscience. “The LORD forbid.” This is the fear of the Lord from the first study: David will not take into his own hands what belongs to God. He forgave, and he refused revenge, before Saul ever said sorry.

😭 Step 12 · Saul cried and admitted his wrong

¹⁶ When David had finished saying these things, Saul called back, “Is that your voice, David my son?” Then Saul wept aloud ¹⁷ and said to David, “You are more righteous than I, for you have rewarded me with good, though I have rewarded you with evil.”

1 Samuel 24:16–17 (Berean Standard Bible)

Tears. “My son.” “You are more righteous than I.” It sounds like the end of the story. If you have ever had someone who hurt you break down and say sorry, you know how much you want it to be the end. Keep reading.

⛰️ Step 13 · Forgive, but be wise

²¹ [Saul said,] “So now, swear to me by the LORD that you will not cut off my descendants…” ²² So David gave his oath to Saul. Then Saul returned home, but David and his men went up to the stronghold.

1 Samuel 24:21–22 (Berean Standard Bible)

This is the most important verse in the second half. David forgave Saul. He swore to protect Saul’s family. And then he did not go home with him. Saul went back to the palace. David went back to the stronghold. Forgiveness and wisdom in one verse. David gave up the debt, but he did not hand Saul a spear. Jesus said it this way: “be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves” (Matthew 10:16).

🔁 Step 14 · Saul hunted David again

² So Saul, accompanied by three thousand chosen men of Israel, went down to the Wilderness of Ziph to search for David there. … ²¹ Then Saul replied, “I have sinned. Come back, David my son. I will never harm you again…” … ²⁵ So David went on his way, and Saul returned home.

1 Samuel 26:2, 21, 25 (Berean Standard Bible)

Saul wept in chapter 24. In chapter 26 he is back with three thousand soldiers. David spares him a second time, and Saul says sorry a second time: “I have sinned… I will never harm you again.” And once more, David goes his own way. He was right to keep his distance. The tears were real, and they were not enough. Words and tears are not fruit. Jesus said, “By their fruit you will recognize them” (Matthew 7:16). Trust grows slowly, when you see real change over time.

⚔️ Step 15 · Saul died in battle

² The Philistines hotly pursued Saul and his sons, and they killed Saul’s sons Jonathan, Abinadab, and Malchishua. ⁴ …So Saul took his own sword and fell on it. … ⁶ So Saul, his three sons, his armor-bearer, and all his men died together that same day.

1 Samuel 31:2, 4, 6 (Berean Standard Bible)

Saul never changed, and he died on Mount Gilboa. His son Jonathan, David’s best friend, died beside him. Here is the test of real forgiveness: what did David do when the man who hunted him for years was finally gone?

🎵 Step 16 · Love your enemies

¹¹ Then David took hold of his own clothes and tore them… ¹⁷ Then David took up this lament for Saul and his son Jonathan, ¹⁸ and he ordered that the sons of Judah be taught the Song of the Bow. … ²³ “Saul and Jonathan, beloved and delightful in life, were not divided in death.”

2 Samuel 1:11, 17–18, 23 (Berean Standard Bible)

He did not celebrate. He tore his clothes, wept, and wrote a song, and he had the whole nation learn it. In the song he calls Saul “beloved.” Only a heart with no grudge left in it could write that. This is what Jesus meant: “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27–28). David did become king after this; what he never did was grab the throne while Saul was alive. He waited for God.

🍽️ Step 17 · Overcome evil with good

¹ Then David asked, “Is there anyone left from the house of Saul to whom I can show kindness for the sake of Jonathan?” … ⁷ “Do not be afraid,” said David, “for surely I will show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land of your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table.”

2 Samuel 9:1, 7 (Berean Standard Bible)

Years later, King David remembers the oath he swore in the cave. He finds Jonathan’s son Mephibosheth, who is lame in both feet, gives him back Saul’s land, and seats him at the royal table for life. The grandson of the man who hunted him eats dinner with him every night. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21).

🍇 Forgive the past. Trust the fruit. Love always.

Here is the whole of David’s story in one rule you can carry for the rest of your life.

🧭 Where are you today?

Everyone starts somewhere. Two questions: have you let go of the debt? And are you trusting too fast, or step by step? Find yourself, then take one step toward free and wise.

🧩 Putting it together

Isaiah shows that forgiveness comes to us first, as fire from the altar. Joseph shows what it looks like to forgive the people who hurt you most, and to step out of God’s seat as judge. David shows that you can forgive completely and still keep a wise distance, and that real forgiveness goes on to bless. Theologians call the first part justification: God declares the guilty person righteous because of what was done for them. Everything else in this study flows from it. Forgiven people forgive.

🚫 What these passages don’t say

• They don’t say Isaiah earned the coal. He only confessed.
• They don’t say forgiving makes the sin small. Joseph said “you intended against me for evil.”
• They don’t say you must forget. Joseph remembered his dreams.
• They don’t say you must trust someone again, or go back, to forgive them. David went to the stronghold.
• They don’t say sorry is enough. Saul said sorry twice.
• They don’t say everything happens for a reason. They say God can bring good out of evil.
• They don’t say you have to feel forgiven to be forgiven. The seraph’s words were true before Isaiah felt anything.

📝 Who hurt you? Do this on your own, somewhere quiet. Write only the first letter of each name; nobody else needs to read this. If something unsafe or very deep comes up, please talk with a pastor, counselor or trusted mature believer. You don’t have to carry it alone, and you don’t have to finish it today.

🤲 How to forgive: Name it · Release it · Bless them

Take one person from your list and walk these three steps. They work for big things and small things, today and for the rest of your life.

🪜 Your next wise step

Forgiveness is settled with God. Trust is a different question, and it takes wisdom. Pick one person and ask three questions.

🤝 Talk and pray together

Forgiveness isn’t meant to be carried alone (James 5:16). Find one or two people you trust. Share only what feels safe, and what is shared stays there.

This week:

• 🔥 Receive first. Read Isaiah 6:6–7 twice, slowly, with your hands open. The coal came to you before anything was asked of you.
• 🤲 Forgive one person. Name it, release it, bless them. Say the prayer out loud.
• 🙏 Pray for them. One good thing, every day this week. Blessing is how you know the debt is gone.
• 🪜 Choose one wise next step. Hands open, is it safe, what real change have I seen. Then one small step closer, or keep a safe distance.
• 🔁 Release it again. When the memory comes back, don’t start over. Say, “I gave this to You,” and give it back again. Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling.
• 👥 Don’t carry it alone. If something deep came up, take one step toward a pastor, counselor or trusted mature believer this week. If you cannot forgive today, you have not failed.

📚 Go deeper

• Genesis 37–50: the whole Joseph story, from the pit to “Am I in the place of God?”
• 1 Samuel 18–26 and 31; 2 Samuel 1 and 9: Saul and David, from the first spear to Mephibosheth’s seat at the table.
• Matthew 18:21–35: the two debts.
• Romans 12:17–21: leave room for God’s wrath; overcome evil with good.
• Luke 6:27–36: love your enemies.
• Psalm 103:8–14: as far as the east is from the west.
• Psalm 68:5–6: a father to the fatherless, for the ones who should have protected you and didn’t.

🗓️ The five studies

The thread under all five: God is my Father. I am His child. So, be holy as He is holy.

Scripture quotations are from the Berean Standard Bible (BSB), public domain. Words in [brackets] are added to show who is speaking or where a verse comes from. Hebrew notes are simplified. If this study stirs up abuse, trauma or something that still isn’t safe, please talk with a pastor, counselor or trusted mature believer.