”Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying: ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man, and He will dwell with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them as their God.'” (Revelation 21:1-3, BSB)
These verses use marriage as a picture of the eternal union between Christ and the Church, His bride. Marriage is a holy covenant that points to that deep, lasting love. So what does that mean for our marriages here on earth? Ephesians 5:25-27 answers it: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to sanctify her, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a glorious church, without stain or wrinkle or any such blemish, but holy and blameless.” Husbands are called to love their wives the way Christ loves the Church, with a steady love that gives itself up.
Respect: The Foundation of Marriage
In 1 Peter 3:7, Peter tells husbands to live with their wives with understanding and honor, because their wives receive God’s life-giving grace too. That brings respect and understanding into our marriages.
Marriage: Favor from God
Proverbs 18:22 shows what a blessing a wife is: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” Marriage is a partnership God blesses, and it brings His favor and goodness.
Christ-centered Marriage
When we think about these verses, it’s clear that marriage isn’t just about romance or liking the same things. It’s about selfless love, respect and shared faith, modeled after Christ’s love for the Church. Let’s live that out in our marriages and remember that they point to something bigger: the relationship between Christ and the Church. Don’t let social media or the latest romantic movie tell you what marriage should look like. Let God’s Word tell you.
I once preached at a wedding in the rain about a missionary who served with the underground church. The point was simple: we don’t get married just to be happy. We get married to live for the Gospel together.
Marriage with Eternity in View: Reflecting Heaven on Earth
“Jesus answered, ‘The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy to share in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In fact, they can no longer die, because they are like the angels. And since they are sons of the resurrection, they are sons of God.'” (Luke 20:34-36, BSB)
Earthly Marriage: A Shadow of What’s Eternal
Marriage is a holy covenant here on earth, but the ultimate relationship we’re called to is with God. In 1 Corinthians, Paul reminds us that the things we hold close in this world will pass away: “What I am saying, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; … For this world in its present form is passing away.” (1 Corinthians 7:29,31, BSB). Paul isn’t saying to ignore your responsibilities as a husband or wife. He’s saying to keep eternity in view and remember that earthly things, even marriage, don’t last forever.
God at the Center of a Strong Marriage
Keeping God at the center of our lives includes our marriages. Ecclesiastes gives us wisdom here: “And though one may be overpowered, two can resist. Moreover, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:12, BSB). The third strand that makes a marriage strong is God Himself. Our relationship with Him should touch every part of our lives, including our marriages. When God is the foundation, our relationships grow strong.
Loving Your Spouse Shows God’s Love
Ephesians 5:28-29 tells us to treasure our spouses: “In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Indeed, no one ever hated his own body, but he nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” This love shows God’s love for us, and it follows Christ’s self-sacrificing love for the Church.
Looking Past Earthly Marriage
As believers, we keep eternity in view. Our marriages here are shadows of the perfect union we’ll have with God forever. That helps us see our marriages clearly. We love our spouses deeply, but our first devotion is always to God. When we put our relationship with God first, it makes our marriages deeper and richer. We’re called to live and love in a way that shows God’s kingdom here on earth.
The Bridal Party: Friends for the Road
“At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take along any extra oil. But the wise ones took oil in flasks along with their lamps.” (Matthew 25:1-4, BSB)
Why We Need a Bridal Party
Jesus told this parable to teach us to be ready for His return. We can also use the bridal party as a picture of our spiritual friends, and they matter a lot in our walk with God. They’re not just friends for the good times. We need them to help us stay close to Jesus, keep a godly family and build a strong marriage.
Choose Your Friends Wisely
Choose wise friends, like the five wise bridesmaids in Jesus’ parable. Their lamps were full of oil, ready for the bridegroom. We need friends around us who are spiritually ready and hungry to meet Jesus. “He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” (Proverbs 13:20, BSB). The people we spend time with shape our walk with God, so choose them wisely.
Friends Who Fight for You
Our friends also fight for us in spiritual battles. Ephesians 6:18 (BSB) reminds us, “Pray in the Spirit at all times, with every kind of prayer and petition. To this end, stay alert with all perseverance in your prayers for all the saints.” The bridal party is a picture of our spiritual community, believers who pray for each other and fight for each other.
Friendship After the Wedding
The bridal party still matters after the wedding, and our godly friends still matter after we enter our spiritual “marriage” with Christ. Proverbs 27:17 (BSB) says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” We need friends who sharpen us, challenge us and help us grow with God.
Our Bridal Party Stands With Us
In the Kingdom of Heaven, our spiritual friends, our “bridal party,” stand with us. They’re the godly friendships we’ve built over the years. They help us stay close to Jesus, keep a godly family and build a strong marriage. The parable reminds us that wise friends are priceless. They help us stay ready to meet our eternal bridegroom, Jesus Christ.
Why We Need Godly Mentors, Godparents and Elders in Marriage
The Bible teaches us a lot about life. One thing it shows us is how much we need godly mentors, godparents and elders. They guide us as we grow in our faith and when we get married. They’ve learned a lot from their own lives, and they share it with us. They give us advice, help us when things get hard and cheer us on when things are going well.
Learning from Wise People
Here’s one of the wise things the Bible says:
“He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” – Proverbs 13:20 (BSB)
If we spend time with wise people, we learn a lot from them. They help us make good choices in everyday life, in our relationships and in marriage.
The Bible also tells us to respect the people who work hard for us and guide us in our faith:
“But we ask you, brothers, to acknowledge those who work diligently among you, who preside over you in the Lord and give you instruction. In love, hold them in highest regard because of their work.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:12-13 (BSB)
Put simply, we should value and respect the people who work hard to guide us spiritually. They deserve our love and respect for what they do for us.
What Godparents and Elders Do
When we get married, godparents and elders play a big role. They give us advice and support from their own experience. They can be our role models and help us handle hard situations with the wisdom they’ve picked up over the years.
The Bible shows this in Titus 2:3-5 (BSB):
“Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or addicted to much wine, but teachers of good. In this way they can train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, managers of their households, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be discredited.”
Older women should live in a way that’s respectful and good. They shouldn’t gossip or drink too much, but should teach what is good. Then they can help younger women learn to love their husbands and children, be self-controlled and pure, take care of their homes, be kind and follow their husbands’ lead. That way, no one will speak badly of God’s Word.
Keep Learning After the Wedding
Getting married doesn’t mean you stop learning from your mentors. Keep those relationships strong, because they’ll keep giving you wisdom and advice.
The Bible says in Hebrews 13:7 (BSB):
“Remember your leaders who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.”
And in 1 Timothy 5:1-2 (BSB):
“Do not rebuke an older man, but appeal to him as to a father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”
So remember what your spiritual leaders taught you and follow their example. Speak to older men and women with respect, like you would to your own parents. Treat younger men like brothers and younger women with purity and respect, like sisters.
Last Notes on Spiritual Godparents
Godly mentors, godparents and elders are a gift from God. They guide us and give us wisdom for life and marriage. Value them, learn from them and keep asking for their counsel as you grow in faith and in your commitment to each other.
Leaving and Cleaving: Building a New Home in Marriage
One of the most important things the Bible says about marriage is in Genesis 2:24 (BSB):
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
This verse teaches us about “leaving and cleaving.” When we get married, we leave our parents’ home and start a new home with our husband or wife. God sees this new home as different from the one we grew up in. We have new responsibility now, and God holds us to this new level.
Growing From Spiritual Children to Spiritual Adults
Once we’re married, we can’t think of ourselves as spiritual children anymore. We’re spiritual adults. Marriage isn’t just about spending time with someone we like. It’s about building a godly home and family on what we know from the Bible.
Ephesians talks about growing up in our faith. Ephesians 4:14-15 (BSB) says:
“Then we will no longer be infants, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head.”
As we grow in faith, we should get strong and not be easily fooled. We should speak the truth in love and grow into mature followers of Christ. That goes for our marriages too.
Building a Godly Home
Building a godly home means living by God’s Word in our new family.
“As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD!” – Joshua 24:15 (BSB)
Every family has to decide to serve God. That’s a choice you and your husband or wife make together in your new home.
Learning From Our Parents and Leaders
When we were kids, we learned about God from our parents and leaders. Now that we’re married, we still respect them and learn from them, but we also need to read and understand the Bible for ourselves.
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for instruction, for conviction, for correction, and for training in righteousness.” – 2 Timothy 3:16 (BSB)
All of the Bible comes from God. It teaches us and trains us to do what’s right, and that includes how to have a good, godly marriage.
Marriage is a Big Step
Marriage is a big step. You leave your parents’ home and start a new one with your husband or wife. You have to grow from a spiritual child into a spiritual adult. Build a godly home on what the Bible teaches, not just on what you’ve heard from your parents or leaders. Keep respecting and learning from your parents and godly leaders as you start your own family. But most of all, learn straight from the Bible.
Keeping Passion for Each Other and God
“Set me as a seal over your heart, as a seal upon your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as unrelenting as Sheol. Its sparks are fiery flames, the fiercest blaze of all. Mighty waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away. If a man were to give all the wealth of his house for love, his offer would be utterly scorned.” (Song of Solomon 8:6-7, BSB)
We’ve all seen relationships fall apart because someone made the relationship an idol or lost their First Love for Jesus. Marriage is the same. When Jesus isn’t first and Lord over our lives anymore, we give in to our selfish desires, wants, needs and ambitions. Pride always wrecks a relationship, especially a marriage.
A fruitful marriage takes more than saying “I love you” every day or doing fun things together. Staying passionate every day takes time, commitment, sacrifice and consistency. God doesn’t want our marriages to be just an obligation 10 years from now. He wants us to stay passionately in love with each other, the same way Jesus is always passionately in love with the Church.
Living Out God’s Romance
We’ve looked at what the Bible says marriage means spiritually. Marriage isn’t just something people came up with. It’s a sacred covenant that shows the deep love between Christ and the Church. When we understand what Scripture teaches, we can see our marriages in a new way and honor God in them.
To build a Christ-centered marriage, we love our spouses selflessly, just like Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her. Husbands are told to love their wives with a love that sacrifices and makes holy. Wives are encouraged to respect and honor their husbands. Respect, understanding and knowing that marriage carries God’s favor are the foundation of a godly relationship.
We also talked about keeping eternity in view. Earthly marriage is temporary. Our ultimate relationship is with God. When we keep God at the center of our lives and marriages, we have a strong foundation for the hard times and the good times. Our love for our spouse shows God’s love for us, and together we try to live in a way that shows His kingdom on earth.
And we looked at why we need spiritual friends. The bridal party matters at a wedding, and godly friends matter as we follow Jesus. Choose wise friends who sharpen you, support you and fight for you in prayer. Those friendships go beyond your marriage. They help you stay close to Jesus, keep a godly family and build a strong marriage.
None of this is just theory. It’s practical help for living out godly relationships. So let’s commit to living these things out in our marriages and relationships, and ask God for wisdom, strength and guidance every day. May our marriages show Christ’s love for the Church, and may we keep growing in our love for God and for each other.
Building a godly relationship takes a lifetime, and we don’t do it alone. God is with us, giving us the grace, wisdom and strength we need. Lean on Him, support each other and walk together as you honor God in your marriage and relationships.
May God bless each one of us as we live out God’s design for godly relationships.
