As we learn about godly relationships, we need to stop and look at ourselves first. Think about your own relationships. Look at what you believe, what you value and how you act, and ask if it lines up with what Jesus taught. It’s easy to carry old habits and old thinking without ever asking where they came from or if they’re even true.
Every one of us has a past. Some of it was joyful. Some of it hurt and left scars. But those things don’t decide your worth. You get to choose how you build your relationships from here.
Do your relationships show the love, respect and selflessness Jesus showed? Or do they look like the world, shallow and all about me? Do you love people for who they are, or do you use them to meet your needs? Be honest with yourself. Does what you do and say really line up with the Word and the heart of Jesus?
When I first started going to church, I went out for ramen after service with my friend Eugene at Young Nak. I honestly asked him, “What do you talk about if you’re not flirting?” I had to learn what real friendship in the church looks like.
So let’s use this time to look at what we believe and how we act in the light of God’s Word. God wants us to have relationships that are full, loving and centered on Him. As we look at the first relationships in the Bible, don’t treat it like a history lesson. Let it guide your own relationships.
It’s never too late to change. Wherever you are right now, God’s grace is enough. Let His love lead you into healthier relationships that honor Him and bless other people.
What the Bible says about relationships can change your life. It shows us how to build relationships that reflect God’s love and respect, and it warns us about where ungodly choices lead, like substance abuse.
The numbers are heavy. The National Survey on Drug Use and Health reported that nearly 20 million Americans struggled with substance abuse in 2017. It doesn’t just hurt the person using. It breaks trust, causes deep pain and often breaks families apart.
Vices don’t come alone. They usually come with money problems, lost jobs and health problems. All of that puts more stress on a relationship until it breaks.
Vices can look like a quick way to fill the empty places in our relationships. But they only last a moment. They don’t touch the real need underneath, and over time they make the problem bigger.
Only God and His Word can really meet our needs and show us how to build healthy relationships. As we keep digging into what the Bible says, we’ll find answers for our deepest needs. Then we can make choices that aren’t just right for today, but good for our walk with God and our future.
Living out what the Bible teaches about relationships makes a real difference, and Christian researchers have seen it. The Barna Group found that practicing Christians who go to church regularly report more satisfaction and commitment in their marriages than the general population.
Focus on the Family has reported that couples who pray together show more satisfaction and trust in their marriage. Praying together makes a marriage stronger.
It shows up in parenting too. Research by Lifeway suggests that kids raised in homes where both parents have a strong faith are more likely to keep their faith as adults.
Those numbers show what happens when our relationships line up with the Bible. But this isn’t about following a list of rules. It’s about letting God’s love and wisdom lead how we act, how we talk and how we treat each other. So as we keep studying relationships in the Bible, let’s ask God to grow these things in us. The peace and joy that come from it point right back to how true and faithful God is.
Two Legacies: Cain and Seth
Adam and Eve’s first kids were Cain and Abel, and that’s where the legacies start. When I read Genesis 4 closely, I was surprised how much is in there. Right from the beginning you can see two family lines. One walks away from God. The other calls on Him.
Cain’s story starts with jealousy. He was angry that God accepted his brother’s offering and not his, and that anger turned into the first murder (Genesis 4:3-8). When God asked him where Abel was, Cain said, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9). Then “Cain went out from the presence of the LORD” (Genesis 4:16, BSB). Genesis never shows his family turning back to God. What they built after that, they built without Him.
And they built a lot. Cain built a city (Genesis 4:17). His family were the first to live in tents and raise livestock, the first to play the harp and flute, and the first to forge bronze and iron (Genesis 4:20-22). Those things aren’t evil. Ruling the earth was always part of God’s mandate for us. But they did it all in their own strength. So being successful in your profession doesn’t mean you’re in the presence of the Lord. You can build business, media, music and technology and still be living out Cain’s legacy.
Look where it led. Lamech, from Cain’s line, took two wives and bragged that he killed a man for wounding him (Genesis 4:19, 23). God had promised to protect Cain with seven times vengeance (Genesis 4:15). Lamech turned that mercy into a boast: “If Cain is avenged sevenfold, then Lamech seventy-sevenfold” (Genesis 4:24, BSB). So when I see jealousy, gossip, slander or revenge in my own life, I’m not doing anything new. I’m following the same pattern Cain started.
Then God gave Adam and Eve another son, Seth (Genesis 4:25). When Seth’s son Enosh was born, “men began to call upon the name of the LORD” (Genesis 4:26, BSB). Genesis 5 opens that family line by reminding us we were made in the likeness of God (Genesis 5:1). In that line is Enoch, who walked with God (Genesis 5:24; Hebrews 11:5). His son Methuselah lived 969 years, longer than anyone (Genesis 5:27). Many Bible teachers believe his name points to judgment coming when he died, and if you add up the years in Genesis 5 and 7, he died the same year the flood came. Then his grandson Noah, by faith, built the ark (Hebrews 11:7). Seth’s family weren’t perfect. They were sinners like everyone else. The difference is they called on the Lord. And Luke traces Jesus’ family all the way back through Abraham, Noah and Seth to Adam (Luke 3:23-38).
That’s what relationships are for. Friendship, dating, courting, marriage and family are all meant to help us carry and pass on the likeness of God. They’re not built to be a soap opera or a sitcom. They’re built so we walk with God, reflect the love the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit share, and pass that on to the next generation.
So ask yourself honestly. Are my relationships all about me, how good I look and what people think of me, built in my own strength? Or are they built in the presence of God? Do your relationships echo Cain’s rebellion or Seth’s faithfulness?
Why we need God’s love
We’ve seen why God’s ways matter and what happens when we live them out. Now we need to go deeper. It all comes back to one foundation: God’s love. This love is divine and sacrificial, and it’s what drives every other godly quality in us.
This love isn’t only about receiving. It’s about giving. It means treating people the way God has treated us. In the next session, we’ll look at why this agape love matters so much, how it changes our lives and relationships, and how we can show it to others better.
When we get this foundation right, we can face life’s challenges with wisdom, grace and, most of all, love. That love changes us, and it changes the people around us. That’s what God’s kingdom looks like.
