Proverbs 31: What is a Godly Man or Woman?

The heart behind mature masculinity and femininity is that we are all made in the image of God. By knowing our source we understand who we represent. Not only are we called to represent proper masculinity and femininity for our own identity but also for the identity of God to be shown to the whole world. This honors, pleases, and glorifies him when we mature into his image.

“So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”” (Gen 1:27-28, NLT)

When we operate in our foundational DNA, the way we were born to be, through our Father’s eyes and hands, then we can truly live our destiny to the fullest. Men and women are created beautifully and uniquely. By us knowing more of God’s master plan we can live in more freedom of his truth in our own lives.

“And yet, O LORD, You are our Father. We are the clay, and You are the potter. We all are formed by Your hand.” (Isa 64:8, NLT) “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psa 139:14, NIV)

We desire to live boldly and rightly before Jesus. Living out what it means to be godly man and a godly woman plays a very large role in that. For us to come boldly to throne of judgement we must also live boldly in our representation of him as a man or a woman.

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God…” (Heb 4:16, NLT)

Solomon’s Wisdom

Proverbs embodies the wisdom of God. Solomon particularly illustrates the wisdom of God through multiple facets. Below are examples of God’s wisdom was seen through Solomon.

  • Solomon prayed for supernatural wisdom of God. He was known as being the wisest person of era.(1 Ki 3:5-15)
  • The Queen of Sheba also admired Solomon. Although she was a pagan ruler, she recognized the wisdom and power God put on Solomon. (1 Ki 10)
  • Jesus even recognized Solomon “glory”, yet Jesus also noted it was nothing compared to the Holy Spirit living in us. (Mat 6:29)
  • Solomon wrote the Song of Songs, or the Song of Solomon, as well as the book of Proverbs. (Pro 1:1)
  • The book of Proverbs was written to make everybody wiser, like God, from simple people to rulers. (Pro 1:1-7)
  • Solomon has experienced every pleasure imaginable for the most powerful king in his time. He stated it is all “vanity.” (Ecc 2:1-11)

Proverbs 31 King

Proverbs 31 is most commonly known for describing what a godly wife is. Hence, the phrase a “Proverbs 31 Wife”. However, what is common not read is that Proverbs 31 was written to man not a woman. Essentially Proverbs 31 is a Proverbs 31 Man learning how to rule as king and choosing a godly queen to rule with him.

Proverbs 31:1 The words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him:

These saying we’re passed on from a queen most likely, mother of royal blood line, in order for her son to rule wisely. She has seen how a king should rule and she is advising her son on the wisest path.

Proverbs 31:2 What, my son? And what, son of my womb? And what, son of my vows?

The mother is making an emphasis of how important what she is about to say it. Son of my vows means son I have made a vow with God with like Samuel the prophet being born with tears to God from Hannah. For the mother to live her vow with God rightly she has to raise Lemuel up in the fear of the Lord. Hence, her advice is in a spirit of the fear of the Lord.

Proverbs 31:3 Do not give your strength to women, Nor your ways to that which destroys kings.

Many men can waste their time on women. The mother is stating this is not fit for Kong’s. It will destroy. Focus on more kingly and godly duties.

Proverbs 31:4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, It is not for kings to drink wine, Nor for princes intoxicating drink;

A king must live differently from the rest of society because of the weight of their responsibility and leadership. Nazirites also did not live drinking wine as well.

Proverbs 31:5 Lest they drink and forget the law, And pervert the justice of all the afflicted.

Drinking would make the king forget what is just and true, what is the law, and who are the ones who need someone to fight for them because of injustice. The king always needs his mind to be sound in order to lead the way God has called him too.

Proverbs 31:6 Give strong drink to him who is perishing, And wine to those who are bitter of heart.

The mother is making a contrasting statement to her son the king. The king should not be one perishing, bitter, depressed, problem ridden, etc. The king is someone whose life requires more maturity and focus on God.

Proverbs 31:7 Let him drink and forget his poverty, And remember his misery no more.

The mother is again emphasizing others can live like that but you cannot. Others can forget their life responsibility and problems. They can put away their problems and not solve. But the king cannot. The king must take responsibility for himself and also the people God has given him to lead. He cannot allow himself to be self-centered. He must be focused on being a servant leader.

Proverbs 31:8 Open your mouth for the speechless, In the cause of all who are appointed to die.

The king is to focus on using his power in helping those who cannot help themselves. His mother emphasizes people who cannot speak for themselves, and those who are about to die. The king must be aware of these individuals because these individuals are greatly on God’s heart as well. It’s the kings responsibility to take care of them.

Proverbs 31:9 Open your mouth, judge righteously, And plead the cause of the poor and needy.

The king is called to initiate justice, not passively hope it happens. In the position of the king, he must stand for the cause of the impoverished. The king must have compassion far those far less privileged than himself.

Ultimately, King Lemuel’s mother is explaining to the type of man he must mature into based on the call that God has given him in his life. While the mother is emphasizing the king’s character now, she will then emphasize the character needed in his wife for the call he is given by God.

Adam was also a picture of a godly ruler in his state before the fall. Adam was called to give names to all of creation. It is part of a man’s masculinity to give identity to all those around him.

“He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.” (Gen 2:20, NLT)

For men to give others names, they must live out their God given name – their identity. It is important for men to know who they are in God, because they play in integral role calling others out in the role with God as well. Do first, then teach.

Proverbs 31 Queen

In the verses 1-9 the mother is emphasize the character of her son the king. Now the she is turning towards the queen the king must look for. When we can notice in this scripture is that the king has actively and prayerfully search for a woman such as this.
Proverbs 19:14 states that a godly wife is an inheritance only God can provide.

Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.

A godly wife is rare. She will have character and ability. She will not only be loving and kind but skillful as well. When one finds a woman such as this, she is more precious than expensive precious stones.

Proverbs 31:11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

The king will be able to trust her. Not just tell her what to do or have her around like a “physically beautiful trophy” as King Xerxes did (Esther 1:11). But she will actually add value to the kingdom. She, as queen, will be able to build the kingdom alongside the king, as well as add value to their family.

Proverbs 31:12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She will not bring trouble, but she will bring God’s unlimited blessing upon their household and ministry.

Proverbs 31:13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it.

She is diligent. She is not lazy. She knows the value of hard and smart work.

Proverbs 31:14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar.

She will always provide and take responsibility for what her roles are. She will go the extra mile to serve her family and husband, and workers.

Proverbs 31:15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

She is a servant leader. To her family, but also to the ones that serve her. She leads by modeling servitude.

Proverbs 31:16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard.

She understands business and economics. She knows what will bear much fruit and not. She is educated in the prosperity of God from the Bible.

Proverbs 31:17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker.

She has strength and endurance to continue and finish well the race that God has given her. She is a front runner, not someone that lags from the back. She is the first one in and the last one out, because she cares about God’s people and His will.

Proverbs 31:18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night.

She understands how to prepare for the future. The lamps must be prepared for beforehand for them to burn all night. She knows how to look ahead and plan in wisdom with God.

Proverbs 31:19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber.

She does not have idle hands which leads to sin (Pro 16:27-29) . She has her hands busy on what will bless the people around her the most.

Proverbs 31:20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.

Just as the king fights for justice and compassion, the queen must have a heart to fight for justice and compassion as well. Her heart must be deeply connected to the compassion and mercy of God. As well as, the righteousness of the Lord to stand for those who need help.

Proverbs 31:21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes.

She understands the seasons of the time. She has the wisdom to know when to prepare, sow, harvest, rest, work, buy, sell, and more (Pro 30:25). She thinks of everyone around her and if they will be taken care of during every season.

Proverbs 31:22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.

She is industrious and creative. Purple represents royalty. She knows her identity as a daughter of God. She boldly and confidently operates in who God made her as.

Proverbs 31:23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders.

A godly woman in general will have a godly husband. Her husband will be respectable and reputable by other leaders in society, in different spheres, not just his own profession.

Proverbs 31:24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.

She knows her gifts and strengths and can use it accordingly. She understands herself and where she fits into the world and how she can make difference. She works with other like-minded individuals. She has a strong business sense.

Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.

The mother again emphasizes her strength, character, and wisdom in planning ahead. She states a godly woman will laugh without fear of the future. She is able to carry on in joy. She knows how to pray, plan, and trust the Lord. She doesn’t live in worry or anxiety but in love, joy, peace, and hope for the things to come.

Proverbs 31:26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.

She knows how to encourage, build up, and counsel individuals (1 Cor 14:3). She is tested in the word. She knows how to rebuke, instruct, and mentor others in it (2 Tim 3:16). She does this all with gentles and kindness like a mature overseer (1 Tim 3:1-7).

Proverbs 31:27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness.

She is able to maximize everything she is given to steward. She is a good and faithful servant. Nothing is corrupted or destroyed by passivity or laziness. Excellence is her lifestyle.

Proverbs 31:28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her:

Her fruit is evident in the ones closest to her. Her family blesses her. Her husband blesses her. They know what she does in secret and they know her life is driven by the fear of the Lord and worship towards Jesus.

Proverbs 31:29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!”

They all know how rare she is. They are grateful to God for blessing them with such a godly wife and mother.

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.

Her beauty is deeper than her physical looks. She knows her true beauty comes from the inside. Her true beauty is her relationship with God and her servitude towards his will (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Proverbs 31:31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

God is stating that it is biblical to bless her and thank her publicly for who she is. This is one of the few scriptures that directly command us to bless and thank someone publicly. God is stating I will reward them in the next age, and they are worthy of gratitude in this age as well.

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