Looking back at my past, I remember how the views of the world confused me during my upbringing. Yet, amidst all this confusion, a tiny spark of hope was alive within me. By God’s grace, I began a journey that revealed the truths that would guide me towards healthy relationships.
At a very young age, I stumbled into the destructive world of pornography. It clouded my thinking, skewing my understanding of what relationships really meant. People became objects of desire, not unique individuals deserving of love, respect, and dignity. This early exposure started a tough battle with addiction that lasted for years.
As I grew up unknowingly I was desperately seeking a father figure, someone who could guide me into becoming a man and a dad. Like many people, I looked for these father figures in TV shows, video games, sports, and music, hoping to find a role model. Little did I know, I was about to meet a mentor in the most unlikely place – a gang.
This all started because I didn’t have a strong father figure to model for me what it meant to live like Jesus. Without that godly example, I ended up finding influences through media, entertainment, and unhealthy relationships instead. This gave me a very distorted foundation for what it meant to become a young man, how to treat women, and how to prepare myself to one day be a husband and father. Tragically, I went down the path of addictions, drug dealing, and gang membership.
Then I met a gang leader as I started selling crystal meth. Overtime, he became the father figure I was searching for, and I followed his every instruction. He taught me how to engage people in a conversation, something I had never learned before. He showed me how to take care of my appearance, like ironing my shirt – simple life skills that I didn’t know.
However, this relationship also pulled me deeper into the gang’s activities and their consequences. Gradually, my grades started to slip, and I stopped attending classes altogether. But the real turning point came when I visited my family in the Philippines, whom I had never met before. What was supposed to be a two-week vacation turned into an intervention that kept me in the Philippines until I could change my path.
One night, I hit rock bottom. Despite being high and drunk, I felt a deep emptiness. And for the first time, I cried out beyond the stars, “If You are real, show me that You are real because I’ve forgotten what love is.” Miraculously, I woke up the next morning with a newfound thirst for God.
Soon after, I met a missionary who had a similar past to mine. He introduced me to his work in the slums, where he was rebuilding homes for the community. The genuine love I experienced from the children in that community was a revelation for me. I saw in their eyes a reflection of the love of Jesus, and it was this love that drew me in.
A week later, I made a decision that changed my life – I gave my life to Jesus Christ. I felt God reassuring me that He would be my Father, that He would teach me how to be the man I was always meant to be.
Over ten years later, I am living out the promises God made to me. Today, I am blessed with a beautiful wife and three precious children. However, my journey wasn’t without challenges. Struggles with addiction and my view of women were constant stumbling blocks. But with the guidance of God’s word and a promise to myself of three years of celibacy, I learned how to surrender these idols to God.
Why am I sharing these personal experiences in a book? Because, as a Christian, I believe that life is a journey. And in this journey, we can experience God’s incredible love, forgiveness, and redemption. If my story can help even a single person navigate their journey, it will be worth it.
As you journey with me through this book, my prayer is that you will find hope and encouragement. I pray that the lessons I’ve learned along the way will offer you insights into your own journey. Ultimately, I hope this book will inspire you to pursue godly relationships in your life. God’s love can change us all, just as it has changed me.
I share all this because my life wasn’t filled with a clear path of where I was supposed to go, nor did it have much guidance. But the Father in heaven showed me where I was meant to be, even after a lifestyle of addictions, gangs, violence and promiscuity. This is an encouragement to everybody who may not have the perfect love life yet, or a full understanding of what the Bible says about relationships. If God was able to help me through my winding journey, then He can help anybody.
Now at 37 years old (as of 2023), I am blessed with three beautiful kids and a lovely wife. We even spent years doing missions in the Philippines as a family. God raised me up not only as a single man, but also as a father and leader in missions. This is an encouragement that if God could empower me, He definitely has a heart to empower you or anybody else seeking His truth.
