The Bedrock of Your Life
Imagine your life as a construction project. You’re the architect, the construction crew, and the future resident. Your marriage and family are the grand structure you’re dreaming of creating. But first, the foundation must be laid. And this process can be challenging. This foundation consists of more than concrete and steel; it’s made up of your spiritual, emotional, and personal development. If one element is weaker than the others, the entire foundation is compromised. Our goal is to mature fully in these aspects of life so that when we advance to the next stage, such as starting a family, we are adequately prepared. Taking shortcuts leads to instability, while a well-prepared, godly foundation ensures stability.
You might be at various life stages, but this principle remains universal. It’s also essential to evaluate if the person you’re interested in shares a similar foundational makeup. If they don’t, it might be a warning sign.
The cornerstone of this foundation blueprint is a relationship with Jesus. Without cultivating a godly foundation during our singlehood, we risk creating an unstable structure that may falter under the weight of a relationship.
The aim is to reach such a level of satisfaction in every area of your life that you don’t feel the need to date out of loneliness, boredom, or to fill a void. If these feelings persist in your life, it’s a strong indication your foundation might need reinforcement.
Consider this from God’s viewpoint. He designed you with unique attributes, talents, and passions. The more you align with His design, the more fulfilled you will become. Keep in mind that any dissatisfaction you feel while single won’t magically disappear when you marry. Only Jesus can truly complete you.
Let’s turn our attention to these God-given elements that contribute to your personal foundation: your hobbies, talents, convictions, callings, and your identity in Christ.
Before embarking on the dating journey, pause and ask yourself: Do I know myself well enough? At times, we dive into relationships without a full understanding of our own identity, which can lead us to change ourselves in the hope of being liked by another person.
God created us with love and accepts us as we are. Can we say the same about how we perceive ourselves? When we grasp the depth of God’s love for us, we won’t feel the need to seek fulfillment from another person.
This truth is vital in the marriage too. If your spouse becomes your main source of fulfillment, you’ll feel lost when they’re not at their best. God should be your first love, providing an unending supply of love and fulfillment.
And so, dear friends, this is the foundation we are discussing. A foundation where Jesus remains the primary source of love and fulfillment, not just while we’re single, but even more so in marriage.
Discovering Your Divine Design
God, the Grand Designer of our lives, has intricately crafted us with unique attributes, talents, and passions. As we journey through life, the understanding and fulfillment of these divinely ordained facets of our identity should stem from our connection with God and not from our relationship with a potential partner. This understanding forms a crucial part of our relationship with the Lord, enhancing our intimacy with Him.
Consider asking yourself these questions as you strive to unravel and appreciate God’s design for you:
- What are your hobbies?
- What are your unique talents?
- What do you believe your calling is?
- What are your personal convictions?
- What aspects of your identity are you currently cultivating?
These questions are intended to encourage introspection and promote a deeper understanding of yourself, paving the way for you to embrace your unique identity in Christ. Allowing your identity to be shaped by another’s interests or affections turns you into a chameleon, constantly changing to adapt. Instead, embrace your God-given individuality and let it shine.
As you continue to build your foundation, think about your God-given abilities and interests. Perhaps you love to sing, dance, and write, or maybe you have professional talents like expertise in mathematics, exceptional writing skills, or a knack for leadership. These are all integral parts of your identity that God has instilled in you.
It’s essential to identify and nurture these God-given talents before venturing into the realm of dating. Many young adults spend a significant amount of time in the pursuit of relationships, often overlooking the development of their own potential.
The enemy often uses unfruitful relationships as a distraction, hindering us from giving glory to Jesus. I often tell people, if they replaced the time spent daydreaming about a romantic interest with reading the Bible, they could probably add three to five hours of scriptural study to their day.
Another vital aspect to consider is your divine mission. What is God’s purpose for you? This could manifest as a role within a church, a job, or a mission. What has God called you to do?
Next, contemplate your personal convictions. These could include values such as purity, integrity, courage, boldness, love, and generosity. These are God-given principles that should remain steadfast within you, serving as a moral compass guiding your actions and decisions. Understanding and embodying these convictions will not only enrich your personal foundation but also equip you to build stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Discovering Who I Am
Understanding this model of identity and action in the context of a Christian worldview is deeply rooted in Biblical teachings. Let’s delve deeper into these principles.
1. Core – Who you are?
We first need to understand who we are in the eyes of God. This understanding shapes our core. This is reflected in the biblical passage Ephesians 2:10 (NIV):
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
In Christ, we are loved, chosen, and designed with a purpose. Our core identity isn’t derived from what we’ve done, but what’s been done for us – God’s love made evident through Christ’s sacrifice.
2. Actions – What do you do?
From our core, our actions stem. They are a reflection of our identity in Christ. This is demonstrated in James 2:17 (NIV):
“In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”
When our identity is firmly rooted in Christ, our actions naturally align with God’s will. These actions aren’t motivated by obligation or fear but by love and gratitude.
3. Fruit – The result of your actions
The “fruit” is the outcome of our actions, our achievements, and accolades. This concept is beautifully depicted in Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV):
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
When we live out our identity in Christ, the fruit of the Spirit becomes apparent in our lives. These aren’t simply achievements for our personal glory, but are manifestations of God’s love in us, reflecting His glory.
Core – Who are we?
Understanding who we are at our core comes from knowing God and recognizing our relationship to Him. This is first and foremost about our identity with Jesus. The Bible teaches us in 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV), “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” We become new creations through Jesus, which shapes our identity as children of God.
From this identity sprouts our core beliefs and values. These are shaped by the Holy Spirit and the teachings of the Bible. Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” This shows that when we let the Holy Spirit guide us, we start to reflect these qualities in our lives.
If we don’t fully shape our lives with Jesus, but instead let someone else guide us, then that person ultimately becomes a sort of god to us, while the real God becomes less important. Matthew 6:24 (NIV) warns us, “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other.” This is why it’s so important to develop our relationship with God first.
Knowing who God is and how much He loves us gives us a strong foundation for our lives. 1 John 4:16 (NIV) says, “And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.” Understanding this deep love that God has for us helps us develop a faith that can’t be shaken. As we read in Psalms 62:6 (NIV), “Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.”
So, the core of who we are is about knowing God, understanding His love for us, and letting that shape our lives. Our faith becomes unshakable when we build our lives on this foundation.
Actions – What do we do?
From our identity as God’s children spring our actions. These include things like our hobbies, passions, likes, and dislikes. We can tell a lot about who we are from the things we do each day. While our actions may change as we grow and learn, they usually stay pretty consistent.
The Bible says in James 1:22-24 (NIV), “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.” This tells us that our actions should match what we believe.
We need to know who we are from the inside out. We shouldn’t just copy the hobbies and passions of people we like to get their attention. Romans 12:2 (NIV) warns us, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
We should remember that we live for an audience of One, which is God. People can change, but God doesn’t. Hebrews 13:8 (NIV) reminds us, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” This means we should focus on pleasing God with our actions, not other people.
So, our actions come from our identity as God’s children. Our actions should match our beliefs, and we should live to please God, not other people. This is how we become who we really are.
Fruit – What’s the result of our actions?
The results of our actions can be seen as our achievements, awards, titles, resumes, and so on. While the world often works from the outside in, God’s Kingdom works from the inside out. The Bible tells us in Luke 6:45 (NIV), “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” This shows that what’s in our hearts influences our actions.
We’re called to live out the Kingdom of God in our personal lives, and the fruit of this life should overflow to those around us. Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” These are the types of fruit God wants to see in our lives.
While focusing only on achievements can be shallow, it’s important to look at the big picture of our overall growth and maturity. If you join a life with no fruit with another life with no fruit, you’ll still have a life with no fruit. But if you join a fruitful life with another fruitful life, together they’ll produce even more fruit.
God’s measure of success is different from the world’s. But God does want to see the fruit in our lives. In John 15:16 (NIV), Jesus says, “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” God wants us to live fruitful lives, not barren ones.
So, the result of our actions is like the fruit we produce. God wants to see good fruit in our lives that comes from a heart filled with His love.
Practical Steps
1. Develop your identity
Firmly anchor your identity in Christ’s love for you. Understand that your value comes not from your performance or approval from others, but from the unfathomable love of God. The scripture, Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV) says:
“The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”
This is a divine declaration of your worth. Reflect on this truth and let it shape your identity.
2. Align your actions
Once your identity is rooted in Christ, align your actions with His teachings. As you strive to live out your faith, remember Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV):
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
The motivation behind your actions should be love for God and desire to serve Him wholeheartedly.
3. Manifest the fruit
As your actions align with God’s will, your life will naturally bear the fruit of the Spirit. Let others see Christ in you through these fruits. As it is said in Matthew 5:16 (NIV):
“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
Living this way, your achievements and accomplishments will not merely be worldly accolades but will be reflections of God’s glory.
In conclusion, a Christian life is an inside-out journey: it begins with establishing your identity in Christ, aligns your actions with His teachings, and manifests the fruit of the Spirit, ultimately glorifying God in all you do.
Making a Living of Blessing Others
Developing an understanding of ourselves and how God has uniquely blessed us to impact the world is an essential aspect of our journey as believers. This understanding often emerges from the intersection of three key elements: competitive skill, livelihood, and passion. By recognizing and nurturing these strengths, we can effectively establish God’s kingdom in various areas of our lives, whether we are single, married, or have children. It is vital to establish a solid foundation before entering into relationships, as they come with increasing responsibilities.
Biblical Teachings on Discovering and Utilizing Our Strengths
The concept of discovering and utilizing our strengths aligns with biblical teachings. The Bible encourages us to identify and utilize our God-given talents and abilities for His glory and the benefit of others.
Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30)
In the Parable of the Talents, Jesus teaches about the importance of stewarding the resources and gifts entrusted to us. Each servant was given talents according to their ability, and those who used them wisely were commended and entrusted with greater responsibilities.
Diversity of Gifts (1 Corinthians 12:4-6)
The apostle Paul emphasizes the importance of utilizing our unique skills and gifts in service to God and others. He highlights the diversity of gifts within the body of Christ and emphasizes that each gift is essential and should be used for the common good.
Aligning Desires with God’s Will (Psalm 37:4)
The Bible encourages us to align our passions and desires with God’s will. Psalm 37:4 states, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” As we find our joy and satisfaction in the Lord, our desires will align with His purposes, leading to a meaningful and purposeful life.
Pursuing Livelihood and Diligence
The pursuit of livelihood is also mentioned in Scripture, emphasizing the importance of diligence and working to provide for oneself and others.
Diligence in Work (Proverbs 12:11)
Proverbs 12:11 states, “Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.” This verse highlights the importance of diligence and working to provide for oneself and contribute to society.
Understanding How We Bless Others
The Bible affirms the significance of recognizing and utilizing our competitive skills, livelihood, and passion. By aligning these elements with God’s plan and purpose for our lives, we can make a meaningful impact on the world around us. Through biblical teachings and principles, we are encouraged to be good stewards of our abilities, find joy in serving God and others, and diligently pursue productive endeavors. As we do so, we establish a solid foundation that enables us to fulfill our calling and positively contribute to God’s kingdom.
To further develop an understanding of ourselves, it is important to recognize how God has uniquely equipped us to bless the world. This understanding can often be found by exploring the cross-section between the following elements:
- Competitive Skill
- Livelihood
- Passion
1. Competitive Skill
The Bible teaches us about the value and importance of developing our competitive skills to bless others:
- Proverbs 22:29 (NIV): “Do you see someone skilled in their work? They will serve before kings; they will not serve before officials of low rank.” This verse highlights the significance of being skilled in our work. Developing a competitive skill allows us to serve in positions of influence and make a greater impact.
Having a competitive skill means going beyond personal hobbies and interests. It involves developing abilities that bring value to others’ lives. While hobbies may be enjoyable for personal use, competitive skills are designed to benefit and bless others in a significant way.
By identifying our strengths and investing time and effort into developing our competitive skills, we can make a positive impact on the world. Education, training, and practice are key elements in refining our skills and reaching a level of excellence.
Using Our Competitive Skills for Others
The Bible encourages us to use our competitive skills to bless others and serve God’s purposes:
- 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV): “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” This verse reminds us that our skills and abilities are gifts from God. We are called to be faithful stewards, using these gifts to serve and bless others.
Our competitive skills can be utilized in various spheres of life, such as our professions, volunteer work, or ministry. They enable us to make a positive impact on the lives of those around us, reflecting God’s love and grace.
Continuous Growth and Development
Developing our competitive skills is an ongoing process that requires dedication and a growth mindset:
- Philippians 1:6 (NIV): “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” God is continually at work in us, shaping and developing our skills. We can have confidence that He will guide us on the journey of growth and refinement.
As we explore and discover our competitive skills, it is important to seek opportunities for growth and improvement. This may involve seeking mentors, pursuing further education, or engaging in practical experiences to enhance our abilities.
Developing our competitive skills is an essential part of our journey as believers. By identifying our strengths, investing in growth and development, and utilizing these skills to serve others, we can make a meaningful impact on the world. As faithful stewards of God’s gifts, we have the privilege and responsibility to use our competitive skills to bless others, reflect His love, and advance His kingdom.
2. Livelihood
The Bible provides guidance on the importance of livelihood and the value of hard work in sustaining ourselves:
Proverbs 12:11 (NIV)
“Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies have no sense.”
This verse highlights the principle of working diligently and being responsible for our livelihood. It emphasizes that those who engage in productive work will enjoy the fruits of their labor, while those who chase fantasies and avoid work will lack sustenance.
Seeking a Meaningful Livelihood
The Bible encourages us to find a vocation or profession that allows us to add value to the lives of others while meeting our material needs:
1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 (NIV): “Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.”
This passage emphasizes the importance of working diligently and minding our own affairs. By doing so, we not only gain the respect of others but also maintain self-sufficiency and independence.
Aligning Livelihood with Values and Passions
Our livelihood should not be solely focused on financial gain but should also align with our values and passions. It should be a means through which we can make a meaningful difference in the world:
Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV): “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
This verse reminds us that our work should be done wholeheartedly, recognizing that ultimately we are serving the Lord. Our livelihood is an opportunity to honor God and contribute to His kingdom.
Developing Skills for a Purposeful Livelihood
Developing skills and pursuing a livelihood is not just for personal gain but also for the benefit of our future selves, our families, and others. The Bible affirms the importance of hard work and responsible stewardship of the resources and abilities God has entrusted to us.
By aligning our livelihood with our values, passions, and the principles found in Scripture, we can find fulfillment and satisfaction in our work while making a positive impact on the world around us.
Livelihood encompasses how we earn a living and sustain ourselves financially. The Bible teaches us the value of hard work, responsible stewardship, and aligning our livelihood with our values and passions. By diligently working and seeking to add value to the lives of others, we can not only meet our material needs but also honor God and contribute to His kingdom. As we develop skills and pursue our livelihood, let us remember to work with integrity, wholeheartedly serving the Lord in all that we do.
3. Passion
The Bible provides teachings on the significance of passion and how it can be used to serve others:
1 Peter 4:10 (ESV): “As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace.”
This verse reminds us that we have received unique gifts from God, and we are called to use them to serve one another. Our passions are often connected to these gifts. When we are passionate about something, it indicates that there is a gift inside of us that God has designed for us. Even in the face of challenges, our passion for that particular area will keep us going.
Embracing Our God-Given Passions
Our passions are not merely based on temporary enjoyment, but they reflect the way God has created us. They contribute to our sense of purpose and fulfillment. When we are passionate about something, we will continually grow and pursue excellence in that area because we love the way God has wired us to do it.
Discovering and embracing our passions is an important aspect of building our foundation. It involves finding the cross-section where our competitive skills, livelihood, and passion converge. This is where we can utilize our abilities, make a living, and experience deep fulfillment in serving others.
Passionately Loving God in Our Endeavors
While developing competitive skills and ensuring a fruitful livelihood is important, it is equally vital to cultivate a lifestyle in which we passionately love God in everything we do. Our work and pursuits should be aligned with our values and principles, allowing us to express our love for God fully.
While we can love and honor God in any endeavor, there are specific things we do that bring us to life because they align with the unique way God has created us. These areas of passion are gifts from Him, and by embracing them, we can live a life filled with purpose and joy.
Passion represents the deep enthusiasm and drive we have for specific activities or causes. It is connected to the gifts God has placed within us, and it motivates us to pursue endeavors with joy and fulfillment. By aligning our passions with God’s purposes and embracing the areas where our skills, livelihood, and passion intersect, we can serve others effectively and make a positive impact on the world. As we passionately love God in what we do, we can experience a fulfilling and purposeful life that reflects His grace and glory.
Seeking the Cross-Section
The intersection or cross-section of these three elements—competitive skill, livelihood, and passion—is where we often find our unique calling and purpose. It is the space where our abilities, financial sustenance, and heartfelt passions converge. When we operate within this cross-section, we are positioned to effectively bless the world and contribute to God’s kingdom.
By recognizing and developing our competitive skills, aligning our livelihood with our values and passions, and nurturing our deepest passions, we can discover our unique role in serving others and advancing God’s purposes. Through prayer, self-reflection, and seeking God’s guidance, we can discern the areas where these three elements intersect and utilize them to bless the world in a significant and impactful way.
Remember, each person’s journey is unique, and God has designed each individual with specific gifts and purposes. As we continue to explore and understand ourselves, relying on God’s guidance and wisdom, we can uncover our unique role in making a positive difference in the world around us.
Here are some key steps to consider:
- Self-Assessment: Reflect on your strengths, skills, and passions. Consider what brings you joy and fulfillment.
- Seek God’s Guidance: Spend time in prayer and seek God’s wisdom and direction. Ask Him to reveal His plan and purpose for your life.
- Learn and Grow: Invest in personal development through reading, learning from mentors, and acquiring new knowledge and skills.
- Take Action: Step out of your comfort zone and take action towards your calling. Embrace opportunities and challenges that align with your skills and passions.
- Persevere and Adapt: Be willing to persevere through challenges and adapt as necessary. Flexibility and resilience are essential in navigating your unique calling.
Key Takeaways
- Personal relationship with God: Our journey in a Kingdom Family begins with a strong personal relationship with God. This relationship is nurtured through prayer, studying the Bible, and seeking His guidance in all areas of life.
- Essential elements of a Kingdom Family: A Kingdom Family is distinct from an unsaved earthly family. It is centered around obedience to the Holy Spirit and nurturing our relationship with God. It consists of mentors, brothers and sisters, disciples, and unbelievers.
- Mentors: Mentors play a vital role in our spiritual growth by imparting wisdom and serving as lifestyle examples. They remind us of our identity and purpose in God’s Kingdom.
- Brothers and Sisters: Spiritual siblings are companions on our journey with God. They sharpen us spiritually, provide accountability, and help us grow in areas such as confrontation, forgiveness, and extending grace. They also play a role in assessing the spiritual maturity of potential partners in romantic relationships.
- Disciples: Discipleship is central to the Christian identity. As disciples of Jesus, we are called to guide and nurture others, helping them grow closer to Him. Discipleship reflects our own maturity as Christians.
- Unbelievers: Compassion for unbelievers is a reflection of Jesus’s love for the lost. We are called to extend His love to those who have yet to know Him, showing mercy and care to the spiritually blind and broken.
- Relationship introspection: It is important to examine our relationships and identify areas where we can mature and grow. This includes considering the presence of mentors, healthy relationships with brothers and sisters, discipleship opportunities, and our impact on unbelievers.
Remember, our spiritual growth and maturity are intertwined with the cultivation and navigation of our relationships within the Kingdom Family.
Closing Thoughts
In conclusion, developing a strong personal foundation is crucial as we journey through life. By building our foundation on a relationship with Jesus, aligning our competitive skills, livelihood, and passion with God’s purposes, and seeking to bless others, we can discover our unique calling and make a positive impact on the world.
Remember, God has designed each of us with specific gifts, talents, and passions. As we cultivate and utilize these God-given abilities, we not only experience personal fulfillment but also contribute to the advancement of God’s kingdom. Embracing our identity in Christ, we can confidently pursue our passions, develop our competitive skills, and pursue a livelihood that aligns with our values.
While the journey may have challenges and uncertainties, we can trust that God is continually shaping and guiding us. Through prayer, self-reflection, and seeking His guidance, we can discern our path and live a purposeful and fulfilling life.
As you embark on the journey of discovering your unique calling and purpose, may you find joy in the process, draw closer to God, and be open to His leading. May your foundation be solid, built on the love of Christ, and may you be empowered to bless the world and make a difference in the lives of those around you.
Remember, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and God has a specific plan and purpose for your life. Embrace your uniqueness, cultivate your gifts, and trust in His guidance every step of the way. As you do, you will find fulfillment, purpose, and a life that brings glory to God.
