From the House to the Garden
You’ve built a F.I.R.M. foundation, raised strong B.O.N.D. walls, and filled the G.A.P.S. with grace, accountability, perseverance and honesty about sin. Now comes one of the best parts of building your relational home: planting the garden where love grows with purpose.
This garden isn’t just decoration. It’s where deep, intentional love takes root. Here, inside strong walls and on a firm foundation, you learn to love with purpose by practicing C.A.R.E.: Covenant, Agape, Respect, and Eternal Perspective.
Our culture treats love like a feeling that happens to you, something you “fall into” or “find.” Biblical love is different. It’s on purpose. It grows through choices that reflect who God is and how He designed love. Dating with C.A.R.E. turns casual dating into an intentional walk toward covenant love that matches God’s plan for marriage.
Why Love With Purpose Is Different
More than romance
Culture has shrunk love down to chemistry, compatibility and personal happiness. Dating apps tell us to swipe on looks, popular advice says “follow your heart,” and movies show love as a force that excuses anything. That kind of love doesn’t match God’s design.
Cultural Love vs. Purposeful Love:
- Cultural: “How does this person make me feel?”
- Purposeful: “How can this relationship honor God and serve His purposes?”
- Cultural: “Are we compatible?”
- Purposeful: “Are we called to build God’s Kingdom together?”
- Cultural: “Am I happy?”
- Purposeful: “Are we both becoming more like Christ?”
- Cultural: “Can I get my needs met?”
- Purposeful: “How can I serve the other person’s good?”
It all happens inside covenant
Before we look at each part of C.A.R.E., you need to know that all four live inside covenant. This isn’t about casual dating or keeping your options open. It’s about dating with covenant marriage as the goal. Every dating decision, every conversation and every step forward should be measured by that.
That doesn’t mean everyone you date will become your spouse. It means you take dating as seriously as you’d take marriage. You’re not just having fun or killing time. You’re caring for your heart and someone else’s, and that’s sacred.
C – Covenant: Love That Doesn’t Quit
What covenant means
Scripture Foundation: Malachi 2:14
“The LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have broken faith, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”
A covenant is much more than a contract. It’s a sacred bond that reflects how God relates to His people. Contracts are based on performance (“I’ll do this if you do that”). Covenants are based on character and commitment (“I’ll be faithful no matter what”).
Covenants in the Bible and marriage:
The Abrahamic Covenant: God’s unconditional promise to Abraham shows covenant faithfulness even when the human side fails (Genesis 15:1-21).
The Mosaic Covenant: It had conditions, but it shows God staying committed to His people’s good even when they kept breaking their promises (Exodus 19-24).
The New Covenant: Christ’s covenant shows perfect faithfulness. He paid the price for our covenant-breaking and offers us relationship forever (Jeremiah 31:31-34, Luke 22:20).
Marriage as Covenant: Marriage is called a covenant because it’s meant to look like these: commitment without conditions, faithfulness through trials, and sacrificial love.
Covenant vs. consumer thinking
Consumer thinking in relationships:
- “What can you do for me?”
- “How do you make me feel?”
- “Are you meeting my needs?”
- “Can I find someone better?”
- Throw it away when it gets hard
Covenant thinking in relationships:
- “How can we serve God together?”
- “How can I love you well?”
- “How can we grow together through challenges?”
- “How can I commit to your good?”
- Push through when it gets hard
Dating with covenant in mind
Phase 1: Covenant Preparation (Before Dating)
Before you start any romantic relationship, ask yourself:
- Am I ready to pursue covenant marriage?
- Have I developed the character necessary for lifelong commitment?
- Do I understand what it means to love someone sacrificially?
- Am I prepared to put someone else’s good above my own desires?
Being honest about that last part matters. At my bachelor party, I asked my friends to pray for me. I told them, “I don’t know how to be a husband.”
Phase 2: Covenant Evaluation (Early Dating)
As you get to know someone:
- Do they demonstrate covenant character in other relationships?
- How do they handle commitments and promises?
- Do they show faithfulness in small things?
- Are they growing in their ability to love sacrificially?
Phase 3: Covenant Discernment (Serious Dating)
As the relationship gets deeper:
- Can you envision making covenant promises to this person?
- Do you have aligned visions for serving God together?
- Are you both willing to work through challenges rather than run?
- Do you see evidence of God’s blessing on this potential covenant?
Phase 4: Covenant Commitment (Engagement/Marriage)
When the covenant becomes clear:
- Make your promises in front of God and your community
- Know that your commitment isn’t based on feelings but on covenant faithfulness
- Get ready for a lifetime of choosing covenant love over convenience
Putting covenant love into practice
In dating conversations:
- Talk about how you each understand marriage as covenant
- Share your commitment to faithfulness and to sticking with it
- Talk about how you’ve kept commitments in other parts of life
- Talk about how you each handle conflict and hard seasons
In dating decisions:
- Do things together that show character, not just chemistry
- Get to know each other’s families and communities
- Bring mature believers into your discernment
- Decide based on long-term covenant potential, not short-term feelings
When dating gets hard:
- Work through conflict instead of walking away
- Be faithful in small promises
- Let the other person see how you handle stress and difficulty
- Practice putting their good above your convenience
Common covenant questions
“But What If We’re Not Compatible?”
Covenant Response: Compatibility matters less than character and calling. Two people with covenant hearts and the same purpose can work through most compatibility issues. Ask whether you’re both willing to grow and change, not whether you naturally click.
“What If My Feelings Change?”
Covenant Response: Covenant love isn’t mainly about feelings. It’s about commitment and choice. Feelings go up and down in every long relationship. The question is whether you can choose to love and serve when the feelings are low.
“What If They Don’t Change?”
Covenant Response: Covenant love means accepting someone as they are while hoping they’ll grow. You can’t go into covenant expecting the other person to become someone else. Accept them as they are, or don’t make the covenant.
“What If We Grow Apart?”
Covenant Response: Covenant includes a promise to grow together, not apart. That takes effort from both of you to stay connected and keep the same purpose through every season.
A – Agape: Love That Gives Itself Away
The highest kind of love
Scripture Foundation: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
This famous passage isn’t mainly about romance. It’s about agape, the highest kind of love, the love God shows us and calls us to show others. Greek writers used several words for love (eros, philia, storge and agape), and agape is at the top because it’s the love that describes God Himself.
The Four Types of Love:
1. Eros (Romantic/Passionate Love)
- Based on attraction and desire
- Looks for personal fulfillment
- Can be selfish and possessive
- Important, but not enough to make a relationship last
2. Philia (Friendship Love)
- Based on shared interests and affection
- Enjoys being together and doing things together
- Can depend on staying compatible
- Essential for marriage, but needs something deeper under it
3. Storge (Family Love)
- Based on natural affection and loyalty
- Gives security and belonging
- Can be taken for granted or turn into obligation
- Important for family, but not enough for covenant marriage
4. Agape (Unconditional/Sacrificial Love)
- Based on choice and commitment, not feelings
- Looks for the other person’s highest good
- Lasts through hard times and changes
- Reflects God’s character and is the foundation for every other love
Why agape matters so much
Agape reflects who God is
1 John 4:8 tells us that “God is love.” The word there is agape. When we practice agape, we’re not just following a rule. We’re showing God’s own character.
Agape changes the other loves
When agape is there, it changes and purifies eros, philia and storge:
- Eros becomes about giving pleasure, not just receiving it
- Philia becomes about serving your friend’s good, not just enjoying their company
- Storge becomes about sacrificial care, not just natural affection
Agape makes people feel safe
Because agape isn’t based on performance or circumstances, it gives the deepest kind of security. When someone knows they’re loved with agape, they don’t have to perform or worry about being left.
Agape makes growth possible
When people feel safe in agape love, they’re free to be honest, admit weakness and grow without fear of rejection. That’s where both people can become their best.
What agape looks like in dating
Let’s walk through each part of 1 Corinthians 13 in the context of dating and relationships:
Love is Patient
- Waiting for the right timing as the relationship grows
- Not pushing for physical or emotional intimacy
- Letting the other person grow at their own pace
- Hanging in there through hard seasons or distance
Love is Kind
- Speaking and acting gently
- Looking for ways to serve and bless
- Choosing words that build up, not tear down
- Showing practical care every day
Love Does Not Envy
- Celebrating the other person’s wins and gifts
- Not comparing your relationship to others
- Encouraging instead of competing
- Being glad when they’re happy, even when you’re struggling
Love Does Not Boast
- Not using the relationship to make yourself look good
- Not “showing off” your partner
- Staying humble about how well things are going
- Giving God credit for the blessings
Love is Not Proud
- Admitting when you’re wrong
- Apologizing quickly and sincerely
- Being teachable and open to feedback
- Putting “we” above “me”
Love Does Not Dishonor Others
- Speaking respectfully, especially in conflict
- Protecting their dignity in public and in private
- Refusing to embarrass or shame them
- Protecting their reputation even when you’re hurt
Love is Not Self-Seeking
- Putting their needs next to or above your own
- Making sacrifices for their good
- Thinking about their side when you make decisions
- Choosing what’s good for them over what’s easy for you
Love is Not Easily Angered
- Handling your emotions well
- Not taking things personally when you don’t have to
- Giving the benefit of the doubt
- Choosing calm over reacting
Love Keeps No Record of Wrongs
- Forgiving and letting go of past hurts
- Not bringing up old fights in new arguments
- Choosing to trust again after betrayal
- Focusing on growth instead of past failures
Love Does Not Delight in Evil
- Refusing to enjoy other people’s failures
- Not joining in gossip or criticism
- Choosing what’s right over what’s easy
- Encouraging moral and spiritual growth
Love Rejoices with the Truth
- Being honest even when it’s hard
- Encouraging openness and being real
- Celebrating growth in character and faith
- Choosing reality over fantasy or denial
Love Always Protects
- Guarding their heart, reputation and well-being
- Standing up for them when they’re not around
- Making it safe for them to be open
- Keeping them from harm they don’t need
Love Always Trusts
- Believing the best about their motives
- Giving them freedom instead of controlling them
- Rebuilding trust after it’s been broken
- Trusting God with the relationship
Love Always Hopes
- Believing they can grow
- Staying hopeful about the relationship’s future
- Hoping for God’s best even in hard times
- Seeing possibilities, not just problems
Love Always Perseveres
- Staying committed through challenges
- Working through problems instead of giving up
- Choosing the relationship over easier options
- Trusting God’s faithfulness even when you can’t see the way
Putting agape into practice
Every day:
- Start the day asking how you can serve them
- Go with their preference in small decisions when you can
- Thank them for who they are, not just what they do
- Look for practical ways to make their life easier
In conflict:
- Fight for the relationship, not against the person
- Try to understand before you try to be understood
- Apologize for your part without demanding they apologize for theirs
- Look for solutions that are good for both of you
In decisions:
- Think about how decisions affect them, not just you
- Include them in decisions that affect the relationship
- Choose the long-term health of the relationship over what you want right now
- Seek God’s will together, not separately
In seasons of distance:
- Keep serving them even when you don’t feel close
- Keep investing even when it’s not convenient
- Pray for them and their good even when you’re hurt
- Trust what God is doing in both of you during hard times
Growing in agape
With God:
- Spend time receiving God’s agape love for you
- Study how Christ loved the Church
- Practice agape in every relationship, not just romantic ones
- Ask the Holy Spirit to grow this love in you
In the relationship:
- Keep asking: “How can I love them more like Christ loves me?”
- Practice putting their needs first in small daily decisions
- Choose to love when you don’t feel like it
- Celebrate when you see agape growing between you
R – Respect: Honoring the Image of God
Where respect starts
Scripture Foundation: Romans 12:10
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another.”
Respect goes much deeper than being polite. Biblical respect starts with knowing that every person carries God’s image and has dignity and worth. They don’t earn it by performing. They have it just by being human.
More Scripture:
1 Peter 2:17: “Treat everyone with high regard: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king.”
Ephesians 5:33: “Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:4: “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.”
What biblical respect looks like
Respect means seeing them
Respect starts with seeing the other person’s worth, their gifts and their God-given dignity. They’re valuable no matter how they perform or what they can do for you.
Respect means honoring them
To honor someone is to treat them as special, to lift up their worth in how you think and act. In relationships, it means treating them as precious, again and again.
Respect means yielding
Biblical respect includes giving way to the other person when it’s right, treating their needs, views and preferences as just as important as yours, or more.
Respect means protecting
Respect protects the other person’s dignity, reputation and heart. You guard their honor instead of damaging it.
How men and women often feel respected
Respect goes both ways in every relationship, but Scripture gives us some insight into how it can look different for men and women in marriage. Knowing this can help in dating too.
How Women Often Experience Respect:
- Being valued for who they are, not just what they do
- Having their feelings and views taken seriously
- Being protected and cherished
- Being included in important decisions
- Having their contributions noticed and celebrated
How Men Often Experience Respect:
- Having their judgment and decisions trusted
- Being appreciated for their effort and what they bring
- Having their leadership and initiative welcomed
- Being supported in their calling and mission
- Having their strength and ability recognized
Note: These are general patterns, not rules. Every person is different, so learn how your partner gives and receives respect.
Ways to show respect
When you talk:
- Listen without interrupting
- Ask questions to understand their view
- Speak kindly even when you disagree
- No sarcasm, mocking or brushing them off
- Give them your full attention when they’re talking
When you decide:
- Include them in decisions that affect them
- Value their input even when you disagree
- Explain your reasons instead of just demanding
- Look for win-win answers instead of power struggles
- Be willing to change your mind when they make a good point
In public:
- Speak well of them to others
- Back them up in social settings
- Don’t embarrass or correct them in front of people
- Celebrate their wins and defend them from criticism
- Show affection and attention that honors them
In private:
- Make it safe for them to be open
- Honor their emotional and physical boundaries
- Appreciate how they see things and the gifts they have
- Encourage their dreams
- Serve them in practical ways
In conflict:
- Attack the problem, not the person
- Say what’s right about their point before you make yours
- No character attacks or personal insults
- Take a break when emotions get too high
- Try to understand before you try to be understood
Building a culture of respect
Start with respecting yourself
You can’t give what you don’t have. If you don’t respect yourself as God’s image-bearer, it’s hard to truly respect others. That means:
- Knowing your worth in Christ
- Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Refusing to accept disrespect from others
Respect everyone
Respect isn’t something you turn on and off. Practice it with:
- Family members
- Friends
- Coworkers
- Service workers
- People who disagree with you
- People who have less power or status than you
Learn their respect language
People feel respected in different ways, just like they feel loved in different ways. Learn what makes your partner feel most respected and valued.
Culture plays a big part here. Here’s a simple example. An international guest asked her Filipino host for more sugar in her coffee, and the host heard it as a rejection. One person came from a direct culture. The other came from an indirect one. You have to learn how the other person hears you.
Deal with disrespect quickly
When disrespect happens (and it will), deal with it fast:
- Name the disrespect
- Own your part
- Apologize sincerely
- Commit to specific changes
- Follow through every time
Common respect struggles
“But They Don’t Deserve Respect”
Biblical Response: Respect is based on them being an image-bearer, not on how they perform. Even when someone sins or fails, they still have dignity.
“I Don’t Feel Respected”
Biblical Response: Focus on giving respect instead of getting it. Often the more you give, the more you get back. But even if it doesn’t come back, it’s still right.
“They Take My Respect for Granted”
Biblical Response: Keep showing respect because it reflects God’s character, not because it guarantees a response. But also tell them you need to feel respected, and set healthy boundaries.
“Respect Feels Fake When I’m Angry”
Biblical Response: Respect is a choice, not a feeling. You can choose respectful actions even when you don’t feel respectful. Often the feelings follow the actions.
E – Eternal Perspective: Seeing Love the Way God Does
Love is part of a bigger story
Scripture Foundation: Revelation 19:7-9
“Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him the glory. For the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready. She was given clothing of fine linen, bright and pure. For the fine linen she wears is the righteous acts of the saints. Then the angel told me to write, ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’ And he said to me, ‘These are the true words of God.'”
Every human relationship, and especially marriage, reflects the ultimate relationship between Christ and His Church. When we date and marry with an eternal perspective, we’re not just building a personal relationship. We’re part of God’s big story that shows who He is and what He’s doing.
More Scripture:
Ephesians 5:31-32: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church.”
Isaiah 54:5: “For your husband is your Maker—the LORD of Hosts is His name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; He is called the God of all the earth.”
2 Corinthians 11:2: “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. For I promised you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ.”
Right-now thinking vs. eternal thinking
Right-Now Perspective:
- “Will this make me happy right now?”
- “Does this meet my immediate needs?”
- “Is this convenient for my current situation?”
- “What do I want to experience today?”
Eternal Perspective:
- “How does this reflect God’s character?”
- “What is this relationship teaching me about God’s love?”
- “How can this relationship advance God’s Kingdom?”
- “What kind of legacy are we building together?”
Marriage is a picture of the gospel
The Husband Represents Christ
- Sacrificial love (Ephesians 5:25)
- Servant leadership (Mark 10:43-44)
- Providing and protecting (1 Timothy 5:8)
- Pursuing the beloved (Song of Songs)
The Wife Represents the Church
- Responsive love (Ephesians 5:22-24)
- Faithful devotion (2 Corinthians 11:2)
- Beauty and submission (1 Peter 3:1-4)
- Preparing for the bridegroom (Revelation 19:7)
The Relationship Represents the Gospel
- Love without conditions, even through unfaithfulness
- Covenant commitment no matter what
- Sacrificial service for the other’s good
- Joyful waiting for the day we’re together forever
Putting eternal perspective into practice
In dating decisions:
- Ask: “Does this relationship help us both become more like Christ?”
- Consider: “Are we reflecting the gospel to those around us?”
- Evaluate: “Is this relationship pointing others toward God’s love?”
- Pray: “God, how can You use this relationship for Your glory?”
When things get hard:
- Remember: “Christ never gave up on the Church despite her failures”
- Ask: “How can I love like Christ loves in this situation?”
- Consider: “What is God teaching us through this difficulty?”
- Trust: “God is working all things together for our good and His glory”
When you plan the future:
- Discuss: “How can our family serve God’s Kingdom?”
- Plan: “What kind of legacy do we want to leave?”
- Consider: “How can our marriage be a light to the world?”
- Commit: “We will prioritize eternal values over temporal success”
Living with eternity in view
Every day:
- Pray together about how God wants to use your relationship
- Read Scripture together to understand God’s design for relationships
- Serve others together and practice gospel love
- Talk about how your relationship reflects Christ and the Church
Long-term vision:
- Build a shared vision for how God wants to use your family
- Decide based on eternal impact, not just what feels good now
- Invest in things that will outlast this life
- Build a marriage others will want to learn from
Kingdom focus:
- Look for ways your relationship can move God’s Kingdom forward
- Think about how your love story can reach people
- Mentor younger couples in biblical relationships
- Use what you have and who you know for eternal purposes
Living Out All of C.A.R.E.
When the four work together
When all four parts work together, you get love with real purpose:
Covenant + Agape = Love That Won’t Be Shaken
Covenant gives the commitment, and agape shows up in daily life. Together they make love that lasts through anything.
Agape + Respect = Love That Honors
When agape shows up through respect, both people feel deeply valued.
Respect + Eternal Perspective = Sacred Relationships
When respect comes from an eternal view, the relationship becomes a sacred place that shows who God is.
Eternal Perspective + Covenant = Kingdom Partnerships
An eternal view inside covenant makes a partnership focused on building God’s Kingdom together.
Check yourself: How strong is your C.A.R.E.?
Covenant:
- Do I approach relationships with lifelong commitment in mind?
- Am I developing the character necessary for covenant faithfulness?
- Do I choose commitment over convenience in my current relationships?
- Am I prepared to work through difficulties rather than walk away?
Agape:
- Do I love based on choice or just feelings?
- Am I growing in patience, kindness, and selflessness?
- Do I prioritize the other person’s good alongside my own?
- Am I learning to love like Christ loves?
Respect:
- Do I consistently honor the other person’s dignity and worth?
- Do I communicate in ways that build up rather than tear down?
- Do I value their perspective even when I disagree?
- Do I protect their reputation and emotional well-being?
Eternal Perspective:
- Do I see our relationship as part of God’s greater story?
- Am I more focused on temporary happiness or eternal impact?
- Does our relationship reflect the gospel to others?
- Are we building something that will last beyond this life?
Your C.A.R.E. action plan
For singles getting ready to date:
- Build covenant character: Be faithful in all your relationships
- Grow in agape: Learn to love sacrificially with friends and family
- Practice respect: Honor every person as God’s image-bearer
- Think eternally: Make decisions based on Kingdom values
For those dating now:
- Look at covenant potential: Is this relationship moving toward lifelong commitment?
- Show agape: Look for daily chances to serve sacrificially
- Build respect: Make honor and dignity normal between you
- Keep eternity in view: Talk regularly about how your relationship serves God’s purposes
For those engaged:
- Get ready for covenant: Understand how serious marriage promises are
- Practice agape: Build habits of sacrificial love before the wedding
- Set up respect: Build healthy ways to talk and handle conflict
- Plan for eternity: Talk about your shared vision for Kingdom impact
C.A.R.E. in different seasons of life
Young Adults (18-25):
- Focus on building character and learning to love well
- Practice C.A.R.E. in all your relationships
- Find mentor couples who live these out
- Don’t rush into serious relationships before you’re mature
Career-Building Years (25-35):
- Balance career goals with relationship priorities
- Bring an eternal view into decisions about work and relationships
- Look for someone who shares your Kingdom values and mission
- Don’t give up C.A.R.E. for convenience or social pressure
Later Seasons (35+):
- Bring your life experience and maturity to C.A.R.E.
- Think about how past relationships shaped how you see love
- Mentor younger people in loving with purpose
- Remember it’s never too late to start living this way
Common Struggles With C.A.R.E.
“This Seems Too Serious for Dating”
The Struggle: Some people feel that thinking about covenant, agape and eternity makes dating too heavy.
The Response: Dating is serious because it often leads to marriage, and marriage is a lifelong covenant. Taking it seriously from the start saves heartbreak and builds a stronger foundation. You can still have fun while being purposeful.
“What If We’re Not Ready for Covenant?”
The Struggle: Young people especially may feel like covenant is too much for them right now.
The Response: You don’t have to be ready to get married to date with covenant in mind. It means being honest about where you are and not leading someone on if you’re not open to lifelong commitment. It’s better to wait until you’re ready than to date casually.
“This Kills Chemistry and Romance”
The Struggle: Some worry that focusing on purpose makes relationships mechanical or unromantic.
The Response: Purpose makes romance better, not worse. Knowing someone loves you with agape and covenant commitment is way more romantic than knowing they just like hanging out with you. Chemistry and attraction are good gifts from God, but they need purpose around them to last.
“What If My Partner Doesn’t Share These Values?”
The Struggle: You’re committed to C.A.R.E., but the person you’re dating isn’t interested.
The Response: That tells you something important. If someone isn’t interested in purposeful, God-honoring love, they may not be the right person for you. Let it help you see whether your core values match. Don’t lower your standards hoping to change someone.
“I’ve Failed at This Before”
The Struggle: Past failures make it hard to believe this can work for you.
The Response: Past failure doesn’t disqualify you. A lot of times, failure teaches us why God’s way matters. Repent of past mistakes, learn from them, and trust God’s grace to help you live this out going forward.
Building a C.A.R.E. Culture
In your own life
Daily:
- Start each day asking God how to love people with C.A.R.E.
- Practice this in every relationship, not just romantic ones
- Study Bible examples of covenant love, agape, respect and eternal perspective
- Be around people who live these values
Weekly:
- Spend time with other believers who share these values
- Look for chances to serve others sacrificially
- Ask how your relationships are showing God’s character
- Pray for God’s guidance in your relationship decisions
Monthly:
- Check how you’re growing in each part of C.A.R.E.
- Ask trusted mentors for feedback on your maturity in relationships
- Think about how you can model this better for others
- Adjust based on what you’re learning
In your community
Make it safe:
- Create places where people can talk honestly about relationship struggles
- Encourage accountability in dating relationships
- Celebrate couples who live out C.A.R.E.
- Mentor younger people who are learning to love with purpose
Teach it:
- Teach these principles in small groups or classes
- Invite married couples to share their stories
- Talk about how culture’s view of love is different from God’s design
- Study Bible examples of purposeful love together
Support each other:
- Connect singles who share these values
- Give guidance to people who are dating
- Offer pre-marriage counseling built on these principles
- Keep supporting married couples
The Garden of Purposeful Love
When you grow love with C.A.R.E., you’re not just building a relationship. You’re planting a garden where people can see who God is and where His purposes happen. That garden grows beauty and fruit that bless you, your partner and everyone who sees your love.
What C.A.R.E. Brings:
When you keep living these out, you’ll find that:
- Love gets stronger through trials because it’s rooted in covenant commitment
- Relationships are more fulfilling because they’re built on agape love
- Conflict becomes a chance to grow because you handle it with respect
- Hard times mean something because you see them from an eternal perspective
Your foundation is F.I.R.M., your walls are B.O.N.D. strong, your gaps are filled with G.A.P.S., and now your garden is growing with C.A.R.E. You’re ready for the last phase: sealing your covenant with V.O.W.S. that tie your hearts and lives together in a marriage that shows Christ’s love for His Church.
Your Next Steps:
- Check your C.A.R.E. using the questions above
- Pick one area to grow in this month
- Find accountability with someone who shares these values
- Practice C.A.R.E. in all your relationships
- Ask God how to live this out in your dating life
- Trust His timing for bringing the right person or deepening the relationship you’re in
Love with purpose. Date with C.A.R.E. Build relationships that honor God and show His eternal love story.